Where did it go?

At the start of summer I had this burning desire to lose weight and get fit, I worked out religiously from mid-June until I left for vacation to Wildwood in August.  I felt great and had lost about 20 pounds.  Now I find myself at the end of October feeling bloated and heavy.

I worked out with my trainer tonight and was shocked at how hard the workout was.  In August when I worked out with my trainer, the session would be tough but I wouldn't struggle through it like I did tonight.

I don't know what happened.  Where did my motivation go?  How can it be there one day and not the next?  I cheated and weighed myself after the session today and was shocked at the number on the scale.  Two months ago I had made it to the one 180s and now I'm nearing 200!!!  As a side note-My trainer says that weighing yourself first thing in the morning before you've eaten anything is your most accurate weight.

I've been talking about my lack of motivation for awhile now but tonight when I was looking at myself in the mirror I was disgusted.  How have I let this happen again? 

So what am I going to do?  This week I got back into going to the gym.  I did 30-35 minutes of cardio on Tuesday/Wednesday and today I did 10 minutes of cardio plus my 30 minutes training session. 

I've said this before but I hope it sticks this time- I really need to commit to my workout sessions.  Now that I'm sitting in a cubicle the majority of the day I need to increase my activity when I'm not at work.  I'm still wearing my pedometer and averaging 4300 steps a day but I need to do more.  I want to get to the gym 3 mornings during the work week for a cardio session 20-30 minutes and then do weight training 4 times a week. 

I'm working on creating my meal plan for the next 7 days.  I'll let you know on what I decide.